I can't stand how depressing it's been getting.

Everyday I wake up and I'm either having a stupid headache or I feel like I've not slept in 5 weeks which is pathetic considering the fact I've just woken up.

I don't leave my room unless I need to go to the bathroom or get food downstairs.

I've yet to unpack all my stupid clothes. Yes, its still in my luggage from the trip a week ago.

My father isn't back despite saying he'll be back on Friday. Its Sunday.

My mother isn't doing anything that's making anyone feel better.

Everyone sucks.

I thought home was where you feel well- home.

Damn sure isn't. Actually it makes me feel the complete opposite.

Family doesn't feel like family.

I wish the trip lasted a month.

I haven't felt this way since. I thought I got better.

I did. I know I did. 

But lately all these feelings and thoughts and emotions they're all so painfully familiar and I hate it cos I know how I was when I was experiencing all this. I was bad.

Yes, I was lonely; still am.

The first time I got bad it was right after my Australia trip too.

I think they know I'm getting distant again.

Now I speak unless spoken to.

I need to get out of this house; this room.

Literally driving me insane.

x

I'm back.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to continue this post.

I think everyone who's been back after a long trip reminisce about the past a little too much and that's the current state I'm in.

A lot happened during the trip. Again, a typical and predictable statement.

You could say I got closer with the people who stuck through with me. And for that, I thank them. It was horrible the first few nights. I was despondent and longed to be back home; alone in my bedroom where I find most comforting. And at that time, I remembered so vividly, thinking about how long 2 weeks was going to be. A week hasn't even passed so yknow. I guess looking back at it right now, I can't believe how foolish I was- wanting time to speed by, yearning to be back home in my own bed. Now I wish time hadn't pass so fast.

It's boring here.

Definitely not used to having nothing to do when every day of being abroad we had to assemble downstairs at 9 to drive up for hours somewhere and do stuff.

Surely one of the things I miss most.

I really wanna see everyone again. Be it those who didn't speak to me, those who didn't know I was there the whole trip, those who mocked me.

Yeah kinda got bullied during the trip but its whatever. It was probably over jealousy issues suffered from the other part.

Nothing I say can ever justify the things I saw, the experiences I felt, the sounds I heard and the scents I smelt. I should add I did maybe slightly liked someone. Something I do not advice because when the trip's over and done, you probably won't see him/her again and don't ever be too sure whether you can live the rest of your life with that fact.

It'll mess you up good.

x