My very first entry for this very new blog. Why blog?

Many fail to possess that one friend or spouse or soul mate to confide their feelings, unspoken words to. I, for one, fall short into this miserable category. Well, it isn't always miserable; some days you enjoy your sole company, other days not so much. This day suits the latter. That's probably how this whole blog thing came up.

Since this is my first entry why not get to know a little bit more about me. I'm 18 and am at that phase where you're clueless on what your next step in life should be. Should you fulfill what your parents want? What you think is right to want? Or the selfish, aimless route- 'what I want'.

I'm currently in my second year of pursueing tertiary education. One more year and its choosing paths time: further studies route (university) or work force lane. I am not at all thrilled at the idea of picking up another set of lecture notes or having to memorise paragraphs of what may potentially come out for the next crucial test or overthinking whether or not my self-proclaimed 'best friend' hates me. I am done with school. A 143% done with it. But is it wise?

I'm not saying I'm going to quit school forever but I guess the message I'm trying to relay is it's not something I want to do now. But is that my parents want to hear? Is that something my future self would regret doing? All this growing up slash end of teenage years slash adult life thing is starting to creep onto me. One day I'll wake up with no internal gut guide or place where I'm expected to be and be in a: "Holy shit what am I doing with my life" kinda state.

I don't want to start figuring life out when I'm done with school. I want to be able to plan it now in order to not waste time on all this figuring-out crap and have a head-start on whatever I have an interest in doing. Which isn't really going to happen (I don't think) because I literally don't have anything to set my mind onto doing. Nothing.

I've always entertained the thought of teaching from a religious angle. That is something I want to do; wouldn't say an interest but rather a duty. To whom? To god? To my parents? To myself? I'd say more towards the first and third but that doesn't matter. At this point, any reader would be in a state of confusion so excuse me. Anyway, teaching kinda sounded right up my alley (emphasis on kinda) and I suppose it definitely has something to do with the fact that my mother teaches too. She goes to all this centers and classes to teach and on other days her students come over too. I somehow got intrigued in this whole teaching business thing. Plus the cash earned is something worth looking into, just saying.

If someone were to ask me right now what my interests are, three things automatically pop up in my mind: Eating, sleeping, watching anime. I said in my mind cause no way will I be releasing this precious- or rather embarrassing piece of information out. All jokes aside though, I'm being pretty serious about this whole future dilemma. Sometimes I wish I could talk to someone who initially was exactly like me; didn't had much going on for them, didn't really possess a liking or had passion on something. Find out how they've made it this far (depending on how far they got) and most importantly: how they got started.